No More, Mr. Nice Guy

Alice Slams Anti-Bush Rockers

WINNIPEG -- In the eyes of Alice Cooper, all the rock stars campaigning for Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry are guilty of one thing: treason. The shock-rock legend, a staunch Republican who attends NBA games in Phoenix with Arizona Senator John McCain...

Err... yeah. Hanging out at a b-ball game with John McCain means you're a staunch Republican. That's about as likely hanging out in a strip joint with Ronald McDonald means you're a staunch Vegan.

...was disgusted when he learned of plans by Bruce Springsteen, John Mellencamp, R.E.M. and other bands to hold a series of concerts aimed at unseating U.S. President George W. Bush.

"To me, that's treason. I call it treason against rock 'n' roll because rock is the antithesis of politics. Rock should never be in bed with politics," says the 56-year-old Cooper, who begins a 15-city Canadian tour on Aug. 20 in Thunder Bay, Ont.

Preach on brother.

"When I was a kid and my parents started talking about politics, I'd run to my room and put on the Rolling Stones as loud as I could. So when I see all these rock stars up there talking politics, it makes me sick.

"If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are. Why are we rock stars? Because we're morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal."

Ya know, someone should write a book about this.

Despite his strong insistence that rock has no place in politics, Cooper is one of just a handful of high-profile musicians who've proclaimed support for Bush.

The list of pop-culture Republicans includes Britney Spears, Toby Keith and Ted Nugent, the latter being one of Cooper's old buddies from his early days in Detroit.

Ah ha! Alice is one of them Eeevil Conservatives™! First off... Britney Spears is a conservative? When the hell did that happen? Secondly, and more importantly, a) Alice isn't running around insisting that everyone must vote for President Bush and b) he isn't touring with Toby and Ted and Britney(?) insisting that you must vote for President Bush.

Well, at least they'd be able to tell you to vote for someone and not just against someone. Right Michelle Shocked?

"John Kerry does not stand for anything," Ms. Shocked said from the stage. "We know that. We're just going along."

A ringing endorsement if ever there was one.