Gizmos and Meteorological Crrrap

"The front blowing in from the west promises to dump at least a foot of snow..."

"Hurricane Skippy has been upgraded and is expected to be a catagory four when it makes landfall..."

"The Nor'Easter is set to slam into the coast along the..."

"... make it an ideal condition for twisters..."

We've all heard these warnings and more on the radio and on the tv news. I grew up in a part of the US that gets all four seasons. Which means snow during the winter. And since moving to the island nation of Delmarva (and yes, it is an island thanks to the C&D canal) I've added Nor'Easters and even hurricanes to the list of meteorological crrrap that can hit the fan.

Snow, and worse yet ice, is still on that list. This is the weather event that usually sends people screaming to the stores to empty out the bread and milk aisles. Last winter I was (unfortunately) doing my regular grocery shopping when snow was on the horizon. I was standing behind two women who had struck up a conversation. Both woman had their requist jugs of milk and loaves of bread but neither one knew exactly why they were hoarding the staples. It was "just what you do".

Ugh.

We all know the reason to have food squirreled away in the face of an impending storm, but is hoarding bread and milk the best idea?

In my opinion, no. Both have relatively short shelf-lives and in the case of milk, you need to keep it refrigerated to keep it from spoiling even faster. And if you don't eat and drink it all, you've wasted money. This means you can't lay them into your larder in advance and must hit the stores with the rest of the Screaming Masses™ after the weather forecasters had broken the news. And this applies to any sort of weather season, not just snow...

-- The time to prepare is before you need to be prepared. --

Skip the milk. Forget the bread. Instead pick up:

• Saltines


• Peanut Butter


• Water (12pks of 12oz/500ml bottles)

Lay these items in at the beginning of winter, or storm/hurricane season and you won't have to worry about having the (very) basics in case the fecal matter hits the rotory cooling device. First off, they have a long shelf life. A year isn't unheard of. Secondly, they don't need power to prepare and/or store them. Heck, you don't even really need a utensil to eat them.

Thirdly, no one thinks to buy them. If I've been lazy, I can still pick these items up after the Screaming Masses™ have hit the stores. Most people don't understand that saltines are just bread... only crispier. Peanut butter lasts and lasts and is chock full of stuff to keep you going should the going get rough. Of course, if you're deathly allergic to peanuts, I wouldn't recommend peanut butter as a survival food stuff ;)

When the Screaming Masses™ are sent off to hit the stores for bread and milk, they've had another item to add to their list... Water. More often than not water in gallon jugs.

Let 'em have 'em. Skip the gallon jugs (unless there's no option) and go for the smaller bottles. They're usually in 500ml or 12oz bottles. Usually packaged in twelve-packs. I like the cased water bottles for three reasons: they're easy to transport, easy to use (no cup required), and if you puncture one bottle, you're out 500ml of water, not a whole gallon.

Somtimes you're going to be holed up in your house. Sometimes you won't have power. And sometimes you'll have to get out of dodge. These items are easy to store, easy to move, and easy to carry.

To these basics I usually add:

• Dried fruit or trail mix in small foil pouches


• Breakfast bars


• Powdered Drink Mix (like Gatorade or Tang)

Again, they have long shelf lives, need no power to prepare or store, but they can help break up the monotony of peanut butter and crackers and water.

Add whatever you think you have to. Medicines, kid stuff, pet stuff. Whatever you do, stick with stuff that stores and travels well. Stick to 12pks of small water bottles. Small pouches of trail mix that usually comes a dozen or so to a box etc. Stick with stuff that requires no power to store or prepare. Stick with stuff that requires little or no preparation.

Remember the old axiom: K(eep) I(t) S(imple) S(tupid)