I mean, I've heard of 'Beating a dead horse', but what if...

...the dead horse in question is a lie?

Kerry Warns Draft Possible if Bush Wins

(AP) -- WASHINGTON - John Kerry said Friday there is a "great potential" for a new military draft to replace overextended U.S. troops in Iraq if President Bush wins a second term, despite Bush's repeated pledges to maintain the all-volunteer service. Republicans rejected the suggestion as "fear mongering."

More fear-mongering from the DNC. If Republicans get elected, black churches will burn, grandmothers will be tossed down the stairs, rape will be legalized and now, the draft will be reinstated. That's of course, after they get finished disenfranchising millions and millions of black voters (an allegation thoroughly debunked by the U.S Commission on Civil Rights) and ensuring that Superman stays dead (an allegation put forward by ambulance chaser-turned-snakeoil salesman John Edwards which has no basis in scientific fact, not that using junk science is something he's opposed to).

Someone might want to point out the fact that the Adminstration and the Pentagon have said, no, there won't be a draft. And while they're at it, they might want to point out that the only people trying to reinstate the draft are Democrats.

I'm really getting tired of the obvious bullshit coming out of the DNC this election. I mean, elections usually contain a high level of BS, but the obviousness of the crap coming out of the Democrat candidates is insulting.

This just in from the Department of Hysterical Nitwittery...

Teen Suspended Over Civil War Weapon

(AP) -- PINE BUSH, N.Y. - A teen-age Civil War buff has been suspended from school and faces serious charges after his replica musket was found in his car trunk at school in the Orange County community of Pine Bush.

Joshua Phelps had been at a re-enactment with his Civil War costume, including a musket last week. He threw the uniform and equipment into his truck and forgot about it. Yesterday a security guard at the Pine Bush High School saw it and called police.

Good grief. We've got drugs in schools. Gangs in schools. And worst of all, the NEA in schools. And this is what sets off the alarms? Some history geek with a replica musket?

Of course, the question I have which would put this over the top would be, is the musket a firing replica or, as Phelps's mother puts it...

"... why give the students fake guns and then arrest them."

Hmm...

Ranty bits from the debate...

John Kerry is a horsefaced moron. Have I mentioned that before? Right. Moving on.

Assault weapons: Blah, blah, blah, al Queda, blah, blah, blah, gun shows....

Dammit. How many friggin' times do I have to show this bullshit for what it is... bullshit? Why the hell would terrorists schlepp all the way over to America to buy a semi-automatic "assault weapon" when they can pick up a really real assault weapon for next to nothing in the Middle East, Africa and the former USSR?

Oh, and the drug dealers with AK47s Senator Kerry is using as an example... let's see... they couldn't've gotten them FROM THE SAME DAMN PLACE THEY GOT THEIR DRUGS, COULD IT??? Damn, I hate this "I'm a hunter" schmuck.

Blah, blah, blah, I'll never give another country a veto, blah, blah, blah

Bullshit, you UN/EU ass-kisser. You're history proves this to be a resounding lie.

Women make 75 cents for every dollar men make for the same work

BUZZZZ! Sorry, that was my bullshit detector going off. If you could hire someone to do the exact same job as a 100%'er, and pay them 75% of what you pay them, why in the hell wouldn't you can the 100%'ers and replace them with 75%'ers?

I'm tired of that lie too.

Division: blah, blah, blah, President Bush's fault, blah, blah, blah

President Bush's fault my ass. The Democrats have lost their power, they failed to win/steal the 2000 election (and got their asses historically kicked in 2002) and they're freaking out like a bunch of cornered, wounded animals. The Democrats and their fellow Leftists have been doing their level best to divide this country.

And did I mention that Dick Cheney's daughter is gay?

Seriously, knock it off asshole.

And did I mention I went to Vietnam?

And did I mention Benedict Arnold was considered a hero of the revolutionary war before he turned traitor?

We're lucky people who married up.

You're damn straight you are ya whore.

And for the love of all that's good and holy in Odin's beard, knock off the lame ass attempts at self deprication Senator Kerry. President Bush does it, and does it well. You just look fake. Not that that is anything new.

And while I'm on a rant... enough with the "reaction scrutiny" crap. I'd rather have a huffer, or an eye-roller than a guy who's getting kicked in the nuts and has this dopey-ass smile on his face.

Better yet, when the opponent (say for sake of example, Senator Kerry), is throwing out obvious bullshit, I want a guy that doesn't sit there and smiles and scribbles down notes. I want a guy who let's his obvious distain for this obvious bullshit to show on his face... obviously.

I want the "Oh, come on"'s and the "Well, that's total bullshit"'s and the "Jane, you ignorant slut"'s and the "Listen, peckerhead, you say that again and I'm crossing the 'tape' and shoving the light-bank up your ass"'s.

Is it November 3rd yet?

Maybe this explains Sen. Kerry's reluctance to sign his form 180....

(Hat tip: Michelle Malkin)

WAS KERRY DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED?

An official Navy document on Senator Kerry's campaign Web site listed as Mr. Kerry's "Honorable Discharge from the Reserves" opens a door on a well kept secret about his military service.

The document is a form cover letter in the name of the Carter administration's secretary of the Navy, W. Graham Claytor. It describes Mr. Kerry's discharge as being subsequent to the review of "a board of officers." This in it self is unusual. There is nothing about an ordinary honorable discharge action in the Navy that requires a review by a board of officers.

Got mine on the wall... well, mine's from the Army... and I went thru no sort of reviewboards to get it.

Verrry interesting.

Sign Form 180 Senator Kerry.

From the Ridiculous to the Sublime

W Ketchup Officially Denounced

Eagle Bridge, NY — September 24, 2004 — W Ketchup today confirms media reports that it has been officially denounced by Communists for Kerry. Referring to W Ketchup as “shameless bourgeois propaganda,” Comrade J.F. Che, Great Leader and Field Commander of Communists for Kerry, charged “the sensitive young tomatoes, along with the more mature, hardened plants, lie together in heaps of mangled tomato paste, in the poorly air-conditioned warehouses with no plant food or water, being sadistically tortured by the American capitalist ketchup makers.”

W Ketchup emphatically rejects the irresponsible and baseless accusations of Comrade Che, and reaffirms that all tomatoes are given the benefit of the Geneva Convention before they are processed into smooth, delicious, W Ketchup. CEO Dan Oliver commented: “We will act vigorously to defend ourselves against the socialist lies being spread by Comrade Che and his band of red-shirt wearing agitators.”

Uh oh, looks like the makers of my favorite Red Sauce have run afoul of my favorite Reds.

This just in from the Department of Clueless Schmucks...

Penn Scolds "South Park" Brain Trust

E! -- Sean Penn has a message for the creators of South Park: Voting is cool, and you are not.

And I'm rubber and you're glue... WTF? How's third grade coming along?

While the accuracy of the missive have not been verified by the Penn camp, the words sound like vintage Penn, who is apparently steamed over comments Stone made in Rolling Stone about voting. Stone said, "If you don't know what you're talking about, there's no shame in not voting."

Wow, ya know what? He's right. Stone that is.

"I never mind being of service, in satire and silliness. I do mind when anybody who doesn't have a child, doesn't have a child at war, or isn't or won't be in harm's way themselves, is encouraging that there's 'no shame in not voting.'

And once again, Sean Penn is a moron.

If you don't know the issues, if you don't know the candidate's stances, hell, if you can't speak the language (in order to know what the candidate's stances are), if you can't follow a friggin' arrow a friggin' quarter of a friggin' inch and don't have the ability to punch a friggin' perferated chad out of a friggin' ballot, or if you're voting for who you're voting for because you like their haircut, you shouldn't only not feel shame about not voting, but you should look upon it as your civic responsiblity to not vote.

Come on Feburary!

Soul Ink Prize Free Agent Quarterback

PHILADELPHIA -– The Philadelphia Soul landed one of the Arena Football League's brightest stars today, signing top-rated free agent quarterback Tony Graziani to a three-year deal. The contract is the largest in the history of the League. With the signing of Graziani, the Soul accomplished its number one goal of the offseason: securing a premier passer for 2005.

To quote the Bard: "Oh, hell yeah!"

Graziani (6-3, 210), who spent each of the last four season with the Los Angeles Avengers, led the AFL with a career-high 99 touchdowns in 2004 and was the League's 2nd-rated passer with a QB rating of 126.9.

An AFL rating of 126.9 is the same as the NFL rating. Interestingly, by AFL rating standards, Donovan McNabb's passing rating is only a 76.8.

The AFL's playstyle versus the NFL playstyle is a little on the apples-to-orange side of things, but comparable. For one thing, they pass a helluva lot more in the AFL. Some could say the QB's passing game is even more important in the AFL. And the size of the field (50 yards vs. 100) affects both the yardage and the TD count.

For sake of a side-by-side, here are Donovan McNabb's 2003 passing stats...

Attempts: 478
Completions: 275
Percentage: 57.5%
Yards: 3216
Touchdowns: 16
Interceptions: 11
Rating: 79.6

And here are Tony Graziani's 2003 passing stats...

Attempts: 510
Completions: 333
Percentage: 65.3%
Yards: 4265
Touchdowns: 99 (Yeah, bay-bee!)
Interceptions: 5
Rating: 126.84

On an aside... is it acceptable in this day and age of tolerance for a grown man to say that he's so excited he could pee?

Just wondering.

Carry on.

I mean, I knew he was an ambulance chaser but...

I didn't know Senator Edwards was a snakeoil salesman too.

"When John Kerry is president, people like Christopher Reeve are going get up out of that wheelchair and walk again." - Senator John Edwards

I'm tired of the sheer audacity of the bullshit coming out of the DNC this election year. It's just flatout amazing and frustrating at the same time. Amazing that they can say the utter crap that they say. And frustrating that people either believe it or are so wrapped up in misguided hatred for President Bush that they're willing to swallow this mountain-sized pile of bovine night-soil and vote the Two-Johns into the White House.

The latest campaign promise/scare tactic coming out of Senator Edwards takes the cake. People like Christopher Reeve will get out of their wheelchairs if John Kerry gets elected (read: if you boot George Bush out of office) is not only absurd, with no basis in fact, but it is cruel to give such false hope.

Set aside that no-one knows if the use of stem cells will do anything at all.

Set aside that no-one knows if the use of stem cells, if they do anything, those things will be positive ones.

And of course, set aside the dubious merits of making people like Christopher Reeve (ie. dead people) walk around again. I mean I have enough trouble with slow drivers in the fast lane as it is without mini-vans full of zombies hitting the road.

Let's just deal with the so-called impediment to stem cell research that President Bush is accused of being...

There is no ban on stem cell research. Not only is President Bush not standing in the way of stem reasearch, he's the first President to allot money to help it along, to the tune of twenty-five mil.

What there is, is a ban on Federally funded programs involving research on embryonic stem cell.

This does not include research the pre-existing embryonic stem cell lines.

This does not include research on adult stem cells.

This does not include privately funded research on either adult or embryonic stem cells.

*gasp* You mean if the DNC, the Hollywood leftists, the socialists and George Soros et al would stop spending hundreds of millions of dollars trying to win elections and/or change the US into some "socialist utopia" and sank their money into... oh, I dunno, something useful like stem cell research or inventing cars that ran on gummi bears they could do it?

Exactly.

And no one is stopping them?

Exactly.

Why don't they?

Simple, they're socialists. They don't believe we the people can do anything for ourselves. They believe that the government has to do everything. To them, expending time, energy, and resources on making the government solve a problem, instead of expending time, energy, and resources on actually doing something to solve a problem themselves makes more sense.

It just doesn't dawn on them.

One more reason why the NFL irritates me...

The NFL fines Jake Plummer (former QB that led my beleaguered Cards to their first playoff victory in forty-some-odd years) for honoring friend and former teammate Pat Tillman.

During week #2 of this season, the NFL had all the players wear a #40 sticker on their helmets... for that week only. The Arizona Rattlers wore #40 stickers from the time of Tillman's death in April, until the end of the season (when they lost 69-62 to the San Jose Sabercats in Arenabowl XVIII) in June.

Since then, Jake has continued to wear a #40 sticker and the schmucks of the NFL continue to fine him.

Schmucks.

The Death of Superman

`Superman' Star Christopher Reeve Dies

(AP) -- Christopher Reeve, the star of the "Superman" movies whose near-fatal riding accident nine years ago turned him into a worldwide advocate for spinal cord research, died Sunday of heart failure, his publicist said. He was 52.

Not that I go in for this sort of thing, but maybe there is something to the 'cursed role' theory.

Speaking of Feburary...

What: The Philadelphia Soul of the Arena Football League will announce the signing of the premier AFL Quarterback Monday night at Chickie’s and Pete’s in South Philadelphia.
Who: Soul co-owners Jon Bon Jovi and Craig A. Spencer, along with head coach Michael Trigg, will introduce the Soul’s new Quarterback. Soul players Sean Scott, Chris Ryan and Keita Crespina will also be in attendance. Special guests will include Real World Philadelphia cast member and former Philadelphia Soul intern Landon.
When: Monday, October 11 at 6 p.m. Interviews and photo opportunities will be available to the media from 6-8 p.m.
Where: Chickie’s and Pete’s 15th and Packer Avenue Philadelphia, PA 19145

Rock on! The 'premier AFL quarterback' in question, if the rumormill is right, is one Tony Graziani. Graziani threw 99 touchdowns and five interceptions last season as the QB of the LA Avengers.

Upgraded my season tickets from behind the rebound nets (end zone) to the twenty-five yardline (that's midfield for the uninitiated) and it looks like the team's upgrading the QB.

Gotta wait 'til tomorrow night to find out for sure.

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory

Oh for the luvapete. The Cards, who were winning the entire game against the winless 49ers, managed to screw it up and lose.

Damn.

Is it Feburary yet?