This just in from the Ministry of Defense...

Will Catapults Out-Chunk Air Guns at Pumpkin-Chunking World Championship 2008?

Ah, one of the more... unique aspects of hailing from "Slower Lower" has always been Punkin' Chunkin'. To answer the article's title... no way in hell. As much as I hate to admit it. I'm old school when it comes to chunkin'. I prefer the trebuchets most of all, but they simply don't have the range the air cannons do. They're less likely to "make pie", as it's called when you blow your punkin' to smithereens rather than launch it across the field, but they lack the power and range of the air cannons. But who knows. Maybe they held their own. I haven't gone to Punkin' Chunkin' in a few years as it's gotten insanely crowded.

This just in from the Department of Helpful Hints...

Sen. Obama wants a "civilian security force" separate from, yet equally as powerful as, the US military. Can you say Sturmabteilung boys and girls? Neither can I, so I just call 'em "Brown Shirts". How many more red flags need to pop up before people wake up?

Getting an Early Start on the Thugocracy...

Campaign: Obama didn't know aunt's immigration status

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Sen. Barack Obama didn't know his aunt might be living illegally in the United States, as media outlets are reporting, and his campaign will return contributions she made, an aide said Saturday.

Sure he didn't.

Democratic U.S. Rep. John Conyers of Michigan fired off a letter asking Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff to investigate whether someone leaked the information to the media in an effort to damage Obama.

So, let me get this straight. It's far more important to the Republic if we spend time investigating who is revealing damaging details (aka the truth) about The One, than it is to investigate the implications of illegal campaign contributions made possible by Team Obama removing the safegaurds that would prevent such illegal contributions that this story brings to light?

Is this asshat running for re-election this year? If so, who is his opponent and how can I contribute to their campaign?

Of Freudian Slips and Rhetorical Flourishes...

"It's way too soon. He hasn't done anything yet." - Michelle Obama

Is there anyone in this guy's camp that doesn't, deep down, believe he's an empty suit? I mean, aside from the devotees of The Cult of The One, of course. They all keep letting these things slip out... and I thank them deeply for the service they are rendering.

Quote of the week...

"No wonder the polls are tightening. Even Obama is having second thoughts about Obama." - commenter Dave S. in reply to this story in the Aussie Daily Telegraph about Team the One's new plans to lowering expectations of an Obama administration.

Runner up goes to Tim Blair, who wrote the article:

UPDATE. An AP shot of an Obama supporter, prior to her crushing disappointment:

Har!

I knew The One hates it when the media ask questions...

But I didn't know he gets his panties in a bunch when they so much as snap his picture.

"You got a shot," he told the photographers. "Leave us alone. Come on, guys."

I swear, you can't make this stuff up. Exactly what did he think was going to happen when he entered the world of public office, let alone when he decided to run for the highest office in the free world? Earth to The One... they are going to take your picture and *gasp* may even ask you tough questions.

Okay, they're mostly going to take your picture.

This just in from the Department of Bar Lowering...

Rich = $250,000
Rich = $200,000
Rich = $150,000
Rich = $120,000

How long until Team the One gets back down to the $42,000 level Sen. Obama has voted for in the past?

This just in from the Department of Been There, Done That...

"I left Europe four decades ago because socialism has killed opportunities there," Schwarzenegger said. "In recent years Europe has realized it's mistakes ... and Senator Obama says he wants to pursue the same 'spread the wealth' ideas that Europe had decades ago." - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Over my time here on this big blue marble I've talked with, or read the words of, folks who have lived outside of America. South and Central America, Western and Eastern Europe, Africa and the former Soviet Union. These people have lived under the socio-political and economic systems that some in America, like Sen. Obama, want us to live under. These folks know from firsthand experience, as opposed to academic theory, what these systems are all about and they know what utter failures these systems are. Gov. Schwarzenegger points out the irony that these people just don't get. In their decades-long struggle to bring socialism/Marxism/communism to America, they are blind to the fact that the folks who already had it have figured out it doesn't work.

A wise man learns from his mistakes. But a smart man learns from the other poor bastard's mistakes.

This just in from the Department of the First Stone...

Obama's New Attack on Those Who Don't Want Higher Taxes: ‘Selfishness’

"John McCain and Sarah Palin they call this socialistic," Obama continued. "You know I don’t know when, when they decided they wanted to make a virtue out of selfishness."

Tell ya what, Senator. When you start using your wealth to take care of your own family (ie. your half-brother living in a hovel in Africa, your aunt, living in this country and donating to your campaign illegally) you can start preaching to the rest of us about selfishness. But that's the rub isn't it? It would require you to use your money to actively help someone. Instead, like a typical leftish, you want to use everyone else's money run through the horribly ineffective filter that is government to eventually help someone.

This just in from the Desk of John Galt...

"I won't have to worry about putting gas in my car! I won't have to worry about paying my mortgage! If I help him. He'll help me."

This just in from the Ministry of Information...

PURGE: SKEPTICAL REPORTERS TOSSED OFF OBAMA PLANE
(Via: Drudge)

The Obama campaign has decided to heave out three newspapers from its plane for the final days of its blitz across battleground states -- and all three endorsed Sen. John McCain for president!

And so it begins continues.

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. - H.L. Mencken

Tito the Builder

I'll never forget where I was, or what happened, on Sept 11th. I was onsite at a customer's facility, as I usually am. It is a manufacturing facility that is owned by immigrants from South America. As a result a lot of their work force are folks who've recently immigrated, legally, to the US. When we heard about the attack, lots of questions were flying, as they no doubt were everywhere else. A young woman from Chile who recently "raised her hand" to become a citizen asked me, in all shock and seriousness, "Why would someone do this to us?" Not New York, not America, not the folks on the planes or in the WTC or the Pentagon, but us. She couldn't understand why someone, anyone, would hate America so much as to be driven to attack it.

It never fails to amaze me how people who were born and raised here, who never had to live in another country or under a different type of system, turn on their country with such vitriol, such venomous hatred. And many of those that don't are so apathetic, so unappreciative of what we have here in the States. It's the folks who come here legally, folks like Tito, who know what America is and what it's really like living somewhere else. Folks like Tito get it. I'd take the Titos of the world who came over the self-righteous, America-hating schmucks like Bill Ayers, Frank Lloyd Marshall and Jeremiah Wright who were born here any day of the week.

This just in from the Department of Double Standards...

2 arrested for hanging Obama effigy on Ky. campus

LEXINGTON, Ky. -- A University of Kentucky student and another man were arrested Thursday, accused of hanging a life-sized likeness of Barack Obama from a tree on the campus.

Of course they were. Hang Gov. Palin in effigy and you're not only deemed 'no big deal' you're lauded for expressing your political viewpoint. Hang Sen. Obama in effigy and you're arrested.

Get used to it folks. This crap is going to be SOP if the American people are stupid enough to elect this tool into the White House.

Mark my words.

An Exercise in Twisted Logic...

Qaeda wants Republicans, Bush "humiliated": Web video

DUBAI (Reuters) - An al Qaeda leader has called for President George W. Bush and the Republicans to be "humiliated," without endorsing any party in the upcoming U.S. presidential election, according to a video posted on the Internet.

Criminy Reuters, can you stop being... well, Reuters for five minutes? How can they want the Republicans to be "humiliated" without, by default, endorsing the Democrat Party? How many parties do you dopes figure we have? Okay, we have a few, but we only have two parties that have a chance of winning the Presidential election. Everyone knows that everyone who wants the United States to faceplant is pulling for Sen. Obama to win. Al Qaeda included. Kindly stop pissing on my leg and telling me it's raining.

This just in from the Ministry of Freedom

Schumer: Current Situation Requires One-Party Control

Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee Chairman Charles Schumer of New York today argued that in the current climate a politically divided government is a bad thing. He was seeking to counter a closing GOP argument that voters should not give Democrats control of the White House, the House and a potentially filibuster-proof majority in the Senate. “They can’t win on domestic policy; they can’t win on foreign policy; they can’t win on sort of trying to tag our candidates; so the latest theme is, ‘Oh, let’s have some balance in government. Let’s have divided government,’ ” Schumer said at a press briefing. “Our view is very simple, and that is Republican senators, Republican incumbents aren’t for checks and balances. They’re for blocking change and backing [President] Bush.”

Point the First, President Bush will no longer be President as of Jan 20th, 2009 Chuck, so that canard is weaker than usual. Point the Second, even when "Republicans ruled", they did so with the narrowest of margins and with a President that was not the hardcore Conservative his detractors would like to portray him as. Then again, what they wanted to portray him as wasn't even as a hardcore Conservative, but I digress. It was hardly the trifecta of a filibuster-proof Congress that can do anything it wants, an extremist President that you can't so much as question without being crushed, and a compliant media that won't hold either to any form of scrutiny that you and yours are licking your chops over. Point the Third, and probably the most important, up yours you fascist tool.

Better Outlaw Screwdrivers...

Police: Ex-lover killed woman in rage

BOYNTON BEACH — Carol Anne Burger [My Edit: Huffington Post writer] killed her former lover by stabbing her 222 times with a Phillips-head screwdriver and then took pains to hide her crime, police said Wednesday.

Jessica Kalish, who shared a house with Burger despite breaking up with her more than a year ago, was found last Thursday stuffed in the backseat of her gun-metal BMW sedan, abandoned behind a medical office at 2300 S. Congress Avenue. Her blood was splashed around the rear end and undercarriage of the car, as if her killer had tried to load her into the trunk. The driver-side window was shattered.

222 times? Whoa.

This just in from the Department of Zo...

Second Championship Comes to Philly

A long time coming: Phillies win the World Series

PHILADELPHIA – From losingest team to longest game, the Philadelphia Phillies are World Series champions. Strange as that sounds. Strange as it was. Brad Lidge and the Phillies finished off the Tampa Bay Rays 4-3 in a three-inning sprint Wednesday night to win a suspended Game 5 nearly 50 hours after it started.

After being delayed by an act of God... and the actions of a guy who thinks he is one... the Phillies wrapped up game five with a Championship. Way to go. Not that the Soul will get the credit it deserves for breaking the "Billy Penn Curse", but those of us who know better... well... know better. Grats!

... and you're welcome.

More Citizens of the World...

Mideast Conflict

Palestinian Ibrahim Abu Jayab, 24, is seen next to his computer, in his family house in Nusayrat refugee camp, central Gaza Strip, Tuesday, Oct. 28, 2008. A young Palestinian in a Gaza refugee camp is doing his part to get out the vote for Barack Obama. With a little help from the Internet, 24-year-old Ibrahim Abu Jayab is cold calling random American families from his parent's home imploring them to vote Obama.

We since we have foreigners donating to, and registering to vote, in this election why shouldn't they be robocalling as well?

Wake up folks.

Did I Mention Some Are More Equal than Others?

Obama starring in infomercial, broader TV blitz

'You're going to be on all the TV? Are you going to interrupt my TV?'" her mother said Malia asked.

Michelle Obama said the presidential candidate assured his daughter that he hadn't bought time on the Disney Channel.

"Of course not, Sweetie. In Communist humane socially just countries, it's the proletariat that are inconvenienced, not the Party insiders."

How to Steal Ohio...

Judge rules Ohio homeless voters may list park benches as addresses

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - A federal judge in Ohio has ruled that counties must allow homeless voters to list park benches and other locations that aren't buildings as their addresses.

U.S. District Judge Edmund Sargus also ruled that provisional ballots can't be invalidated because of poll worker errors.

Monday's ruling resolved the final two pieces of a settlement between the Northeast Ohio Coalition for the Homeless and Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner.

The coalition agreed to drop a constitutional challenge to Ohio's voter identification law until after the Nov. 4 election. In return, Brunner and the coalition agreed on procedures to verify provisional ballots across all Ohio counties.

The coalition was concerned that unequal treatment of provisional ballots would disenfranchise some voters.

Is there no depth that Secretary of State Brunner, a Democrat by the way, won't stoop to to hand her State's electoral votes over to The One? If she's not withholding information for the various Boards of Election in Ohio, she's fighting to open the door to fraud by allowing that people who can't be verified, and thus are held to the standard of "one person, one vote", can vote who knows how many times. After all, The One has decreed that his followers should "take the day off" and will have plenty of time to drive these folks around to as many polling places as is possible.

More Equal Than Others

(Via: Michelle Malkin)


Just a humble man of the cloth you see.

This just in from the Department of Fig Leaf Placement...

CNN rejected Obama ad; Fox News not asked

From a CNN spokesperson:

We were approached by the Obama campaign and declined their request. We did not want to pre-empt our programming lineup with a 30-minute spot. We rather use our air to continue to cover the campaign, candidates and issues like we always do from all points of view with the best political team on television.

Fox News, sources say, was not approached by the Obama campaign. Sources point out that the ad is already airing on the Fox broadcast network. MSNBC, however, is airing the ad despite it running on its broadcast partner NBC.

Seeing as CNN has, more or less, been running as a 24/7 political infomercial of Sen. Obama this strikes me of trying to appear impartial.

This just in from the Department of Vetting...

(Hat Tip: LGF)

Rev. Jeremiah "God Damn America" Wright is the "best of what the black church has to offer"? Uhm... yeah. Hopefully this video, and the resulting spinfest that follows, will bring Sen. Obama's twenty year association with Rev. Wright to the fore for discussion.

I guess the chickens are still coming home... to roost.

Of Freudian Slips and Rhetorical Flourishes...

This does bring up questions of a slippery slope of course. It also brings up the habit Joe the Senator has of letting things he himself thinks, believes, or knows. Like his "mark my words" thing. Something I don't refer to as a gaffe so much as a public service. There's every possibility that he knows that what The One and the rest of the Democrat party is promising can't be paid for by only "eating the rich". The line of demarcation is going to be lowered and lowered.

Mark my words.

This just in from the Department of Wisdom from the Past...

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill

Fox News making things up again!

(Hat Tip: Instapundit)

Oh wait, that's Katie Curic. Doesn't matter, I'm sure it's FoxNews's fault anyway. Right Bill Barton? You putz.

This just in from the Department of Strange Outbursts...

Dean: One-Party Rule Would Rule

“Republicans had a chance to rule. They failed miserably. I think it’s time to give the other party a chance,” Dean said on MSNBC.

Uhm... yeah. I hate to have to point out nasty things like facts and all to Howard "Yee-Arrr!" Dean and all, but the slim majority the Republicans had is nowhere near the same as what appears to be shaping up after Nov 4th. That isn't to say that the Republicans didn't bone things when they were in charge. They did. But to suggest the Democrats, with unchecked power, would be better is ludicrous. But this is Howard Dean.

Aside from the potential filibuster-proof Congress, something the Republicans never had, Mr. Dean is leaving out a key political organ from his equation... the media. Without a check from the other party, the Democrats would have a blank check to do what they want and the only outfit that could hold there feet to the fire is the American people. But without a media exposing what they're up to, and in many cases actively covering for them, we'd be hard pressed to do it effectively. Especially if they resurrect the exceedingly misnamed "Fairness Doctrine" to silence talk radio, the one media outlet they don't control, and continue with this policy of blacklisting news outlets, and individuals, that dare to question them. How long will it take before they turn their thugs onto folks like Drudge and Michelle Malkin?

Yeah, but where do they bury the bodies?

This was something I recall someone postulating when referring to the "utopia" that is the Star Trek universe. I can't help but think about that when I read headlines like Obama promises to deliver `unity over division'". When you have The One's thugs crushing private citizens for asking questions that expose him Him for what he is, and you have networks getting blackballed for, finally, holding the Dem ticket's feet to the fire, one has to wonder what exactly The One means by 'unity over division'.

Oh, and nice touch adding a mention of the two skidhead losers at the end of the piece. Folks can't bring up the fact that The One has a decades long association with far-left radicals, yet it's hunky-dory to try to associate the McCain camp with Nazis.

Classy.

This just in from the Department of Spankings...

(Hat Tip: Tammy Bruce)

Yowza. I'd love to see Megyn Kelly run the recently embattled Joe the Senator through the paces. Although I wish she had shot down his "95%" crap by pointing out that some 45% of us don't pay taxes in the first place. But that's just me.

Bill Barton's a sorry, sorry little man. Full blown Fox Derangement Syndrome. Sad really.

When Lynching is "Free Speech"...

When I heard about this story I couldn't resist thinking about going out, buying my own mannequin, except a male one instead of a female one and a black one instead of a white one, and dress it up in a nice custom tailored suit, or maybe just slacks, a tie and a buttondown shirt with the sleeves rolled up... and then hanging it up outside with a noose. You know, just to see how long it would take before the whole world came crashing down on me. I mean, if Chad Michael Morisette is right, then it "should be seen as art, and as within the month of October. It's Halloween, it's time to be scary it's time to be spooky" right?

Yeah... somehow I don't think I'd get the same amount of slack.

Man up, Joe.

Ah, here's Joe the Senator once again, kvetching about the "ugly" treatment he's been getting of late. Poor baby. Walk a mile in Gov. Palin's shoes there Joe. Endure the edited ambush interviews, the wildly bogus allegations, the overt and covert hatred, then you can start complaining. Hell, I haven't even seen you hanged in effigy yet. All that's happened is someone's finally asked your ticket some tough questions and you want to kick off a pity party? Pansy.

And another one bites the dust...

The scary thing is, another network is no doubt going to be blacklisted as a result of this. The funny thing about all this is the sheer shock Sen. Biden is in over reporters finally getting around to doing something other than fawn and lob softballs to The One... or at least, The One's safe target, that being Joe the Senator. They'd in no way ask these questions of The One directly mind you. Wouldn't want to be accused of racism you see. The same reason SNL is going after Joe the Gaffe and John the Pork instead of parodying the one. Poor Joe. He's receiving a tiny fraction of the grilling Gov. Palin has endured, and he's getting his panties in a total bunch as a result. Come on Joe, take it like a man.

I have the urge to start selling "BIDEN IS A P*SSY" t-shirts.

This just in from the Department of Echo Chambers...

Shame, Cubed
(Hat Tip: Sondra K)

The Drudge Report this morning led off with a link to audio of Barack Obama on WBEZ, a Chicago public radio station. And this time, Barack Obama was not eight years old when the bomb went off. Speaking on a call-in radio show in 2001, you can hear Senator Obama say things that should profoundly shock any American — or at least those who have not taken the time to dig deeply enough into this man’s beliefs and affiliations.

*snip*

I do, however, blame the press for allowing an individual citizen to do the work that they employ standing armies of so-called professionals for. I know they are capable of this kind of investigative journalism: It only took them a day or two to damage Sarah Palin with wild accusations about her baby’s paternity and less time than that to destroy a man who happened to be playing ball when the Messiah decided to roll up looking for a few more votes on the way to the inevitable coronation.

Not much more I can say. Great article.

Dallas Move South

Dallas moves to Southern Division in 2009 alignment

NEW YORK -- The Arena Football League has realigned its divisions, placing the two-time (2006-07) Eastern Division Champion Dallas Desperados in the Southern Division. The Desperados spent the previous five seasons in the National Conference’s Eastern Division after spending their first two seasons in the American Conference.

2009 AFL DIVISIONAL ALIGNMENT


AMERICAN CONFERENCE

WESTERN
Arizona Rattlers
LA Avengers
San Jose SaberCats
Utah Blaze

CENTRAL
Chicago Rush
Colorado Crush
Grand Rapids Rampage
Kansas City Brigade

NATIONAL CONFERENCE

EASTERN
Cleveland Gladiators
Columbus Destroyers
New York Dragons
Philadelphia Soul

SOUTHERN
Dallas Desperados
Georgia Force
Orlando Predators
Tampa Bay Storm

It's a shame to see one of the Soul's rivals move out of the division, but it made the most sense geographically after the New Orleans Voodoo left the league. Hopefully we'll still have at least one game a year playing them. It's always a blast when these two teams meet.

This just in from the Department of Not If But How...

(Hat Tip: Drudge) Note that this is one a "public" radio show. Shocker there.

Ask not what you can do for the country. Ask what your country can do for you. The legislative record of Sen. McCain, as people have pointed out, isn't overly conservative, but his position is night-and-day compared to Sen. Obama.

10-2... Ouch...

The Phillies kicked the proverbial mudhole in Tampa and stomped it dry with last night's 10-2 win. Way to go Phillies... although I'd have rather this this went six games just to see what people's reaction to The One's egomanical preemption.

The just in from the Department of the Appointed Hour...

(Hat tip: IMAO)

Hey, it's about as close as SNL will ever get to poking fun of The One. Darned considerate of him to keep a few old white guys around for SNL to parody. In any case, a damned funny bit.

This just in from the Department of Redistribution...

Redistribution of Wealth Experiment
(hattip: Instapundit)

In a local restaurant my server had on a “Obama 08″ tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference–just imagine the coincidence.

When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need–the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.

I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I’ve decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.

Irony - It's What's For Dinner

This just in from the Department of Dance...

'Vote for me, I'm a better dancer than McCain,' says Obama as he shows off his moves on TV

‘Michelle may be a better dancer, but I am convinced I am a better dancer than John McCain,’ Obama said of his Republican rival.

Until McCain dusts off his dancing shoes it may be difficult to verify Obama's claim.

But with a new poll showing that Obama is creating an imposing lead over his Republican rival he could certainly afford to be a little light-hearted.

And since he knows the media is 99.9% in the tank for him, he knows he can afford to be an ass. Let's see, on the one side, you have a 72 year old man who had his body broken by torture (the real kind, not the panties-on-the-head kind) in the service of his country. A man that can't even tie his own shoes or comb his own hair. And on the other side, you have a perfectly healthy 47 year old.

Gee, really? You think you can dance better than a virtual cripple who's got two decades on you? What's next? Betting you can pole vault better than Stephen Hawking? Maybe Stephen would have a shot, so long as he had Joe the Gaffe coaching him on.

I wonder when the media will bring this up, or, you know, break the news to The One that he dances like a white guy.

Grats Phillies!

A 5-4 nailbiter to go up two games to one.

This just in from the Department of Chill Winds...

Obama campaign cuts off WFTV after interview with Joe Biden

Biden so disliked West's line of questioning that the Obama campaign canceled a WFTV interview with Jill Biden, the candidate's wife.

And this is somehow shocking? The One brooks no dissent, tolerates no scrutiny, and will crush any and everyone that questions him Him. Get used to it. That is, if the American people have been fooled enough to vote this man into office.